12 December 2012


What rocked your world, changed your life, shifted the ground beneath your feet?

Hmmm.  All day I've been thinking what if..... What if nothing was ground shifting? What if nothing changed in my life? What if the thing that rocked my world was consistency? Having a quiet life, on a quiet street, with decent people in all corners is really pretty amazing. Consistency used to conjure up visions of drab, boring, narcissistic, lifeless people. And hey, maybe I'm all those in any given year (have you seen me after an orientation?).  Being in my 30s, I never really thought I'd find someone who'd love me through my bull-headed stubbornness. (And I did! High five, Crystal!)  In my 30s, I couldn't even think through what living in a house would look like. The last house I lived in for more than a half a year was a cinderblock one with a tin roof. It was in rural Nigeria and had cement floors with loud roaches scurrying by in the evenings. It had a big claypot with katadyne filter for drinking water that still got us sick. It had a couple bedrooms and a view of the backyard. And it's so easy to close my eyes and see myself, my lonely (and horribly consistent) self, back in that tiny world of teaching at school, cooking dinner after work, reading books in a single sitting, and hanging around with neighbors. 

So tonight, as I ponder what living in this new house will be like, it's hit me. My backyard here and backyard there are eerily similar. Huge bushes up next to the house? Check. A kitchen and living room right next to each other? Check. A little driveway right next to the house? Check. It seems consistency has followed me around for awhile and I've just noticed it.

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