13 December 2012

Lenders, not of the bagel type

Most bizarre conversation of your year: script it. Use pseudonyms if necessary.

At the end of last year, we really made our minds up to do something about living at John Smith. We looked at houses online for months. We sort of got lined up with a great realtor through a friend. Our pretty great realtor recommended a pretty great and nonchalant lender lady, Beth. 

Scene: Callie is sitting on the end of the bed dialing Beth's cellphone. (First oddity-Beth accepts phone calls at night about home loans. This never happens.) Dogs are licking themselves. Crystal is folding a basket of clothes. Callie calls Beth.

Callie: Hi Beth, it's me Callie, I had emailed you earlier about getting a quote for a home loan.

Beth: Oh hey. It's nice to connect with you. Pardon me, it's the end of the night and I've had a couple margaritas. We'll get through this real nice.

Callie: Oh. Ok. 

Whispers to Crystal: "I think she's a bit tipsy!"

Beth: So how much house do you want?

Callie: What? How much house? Like a couple bedrooms and bathrooms and a garage.

Beth: Oh, you can totally afford that. How much do you want to spend?   

Callie: Wait, what? I thought you'd take my information and crunch numbers and tell me how much I can afford. Isn't that how it's done?

Beth: Well, yes, but your realtor has been great to me. How much do you want to spend? For the mortgage and for your monthly payment. We'll figure it out and find you a house you like.

Callie: Oh, well then!

Dear readers,
This isn't the most exciting script to read. I mean it's no Days of Our Lives or anything. It's just so bizarre to me that Beth was pretty tipsy and wanted to know how much we wanted to spend. If you're in the market for a lender, let me know! I have a great one!

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